I've had mh issues in the last including a massive dose of PND, mainly due to feeling suffocated and not having any "time to myself". I was actually relatively calm until I tried to go and tidy up the kids rooms and the 2 year old "appeared" and pulled everything out again when her dad was meant to be watching her (he was on his phone ).
She's bored, I'm bored, we're broke and have run out of fun stuff to do and the 2 year old is just at that boisterous "NO!" phase where everything is a drama. I've been much better at compartmentalising over the summer but after having the eldest home for about 10 weeks I'm starting to get a bit skittish. Thanks for the head wobble I know I'm being u but sometimes it gets a little too much. If you got this far, I salute you and I feel a lot better for getting it off my chest. Also if husband is with the kids the buggers are as good as gold and he gets chores done and makes me feel like I'm just dossing (I infer this rather than him implying it).ĪNYWAY. We can't afford anymore childcare and other. Im probably being vvvvu, but surely I can't be the only one who feels like this? I've tried the going out to the park, doing things with the kids, baking blah blah blah and it just ends up with tears, tantrums and me thinking "why the hell did I even bother?" The kids aren't even badly behaved but it's just CONSTANT.Īnd I do have family members that help out a lot, youngest goes to nursery but I wish they could have them do the whole day sometimes. I manage the house, I do the groceries, I have the "mental load" and while things are normally brilliant and my mood has been good lately, the stress of a two year old who won't give me a moments peace and follows me constantly is making me really fucking on edge. He's just given me a whole lecture about the shit job he does, the shit hours he has, that he gets called away at the last minute whereas with my work events/meetings I have to work out fucking intricate childcare arrangements, logistics etc before I can even confirm to go to things. My husband works long and shitty hours and tbh I do wonder sometimes if he does it to martyr himself. Everybody keeps telling me "oh you'll miss it! Don't wish their childhoods away!" But I honestly can't wait and can't wait for the youngest to go too. My eldest starts school next week and I can't wait.
It's constant bickering, whining, "I'm hungry" desperately trying to fit in work around various schedules (I work from home) and I'm sick of it. I have just an enormous ruck with my husband because the kids (4 year old and 2 year old) have been at home with me all day and, as much as I love them and adore them, I HATE being home with both of them.
I've nc for this as I'm so deeply embarrassed.
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